Saturday, December 20, 2008

According to

I took the 43 Things Personality Quiz and found out I'm a
Traveling Self-Knowing Tree Hugger

I don't feel very self-knowing... but i guess that, compared to most people, i am well travelled. And i like to recycle and try to be eco-friendly, so maybe that makes me a tree hugger!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

What have I been up to lately?

Yay! I've finished all my exams! (ish - I'm going to have to resit a few, but that's no biggie.) So, as I have obviously got myself a well-earned break, I have hardly had two minutes peace since finishing. So what have I been doing? Let me see...
Firstly there's the gym. I went to see the gym owner last week and all my fears were totally unfounded. Not only was she happy to see me, but she wants me to get my behind back into shape asap so that i can start doing classes again. But here's the best bit: she's going to pay me this time. Woohoo! So I'm going to aerobics classes for free at the mo, and to be honest, I'm already part instructing them. She helps me along, cos I'm still a bit rusty, but I'm most definitely back in training! And, I'm sore. Oh boy am I sore. I'm going to be soooo much more sympathetic to the newbies in future - cos my legs simply aint functioning like they're supposed to.
Secondly there's the work. I took time off for my exams and now have a veritable mountain to catch up on. I'm almost there. I hope. But it's stressing me out being so behind - I feel like a total schmuck for not just getting it all done, and for being late on my deadlines. It's so unprofessional, and I hate it. I want to do my job properly, is that so hard? At the moment, yes, it seems.
Thirdly there's the english revision lessons. A neighbour has her Baccaulareate coming up in a couple of weeks - less now - and yours truly has agreed to help her with her revision. I don't mind helping someone out by going through their past papers and/or explaining stuff from their books that they don't understand or going through exercises, etc, but this isn't like that. She's got a very low level of English, which is hard to deal with and she's been failing the subject for a while now. Then there's the lack of preparation she's been doing - she's even turned up once without so much as paper to take notes on. Which brings me to the next thing: even when she does have pen and paper she doesn't take much notes. Now, if the student don't make an effort than that isn't my fault, but if she comes with nothing and I have to have a lesson planned, that aint on. It's not like I'm getting paid, or even that I'm a teacher, so i simply don't know what to cover with her. I just hope i get rewarded for it - that's the only reason I'm doing it: for Allah.
Fourthly, a girl has to have some sort of social life. So, I've spent a long weekend at my aunt's place with my cousin, I've spent a morning shopping and have gone to the hairdressers twice (once a cut, and then I decided to get rid of my hairdye and go back to natural, so i had the colour bleached back. And i am never doing that again - so bad for my hair!). And I'm going to uni to meet up with friends tomorrow, and then to my aunt's again the day after, for the weekend.
To be perfectly honest, I can't maintain this kinda speed/chaos in my life for long before going crazy. Even now, I'm already holding on to the fact that the Baccaulareate exams will be over soon and that if I stick with my work, I'll be working great by the end of next week. But I have enjoyed the variety of the chaos - it's not been dull, at any rate! I just wish the weather would improve, then I could start planning my summer.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Trying to stay upbeat

Since my last real post I must say I'm doing loads better.
I've passed 4/11 modules awaiting confirmation on another one and not sure regarding another 3. Which, all in all, means i've only definitly failed 3. That's not too bad. My revision for most of my exams has been really good, i've memorised a lot of Qur'an since the last post i've finished all my research assignments and handed them in on time and have managed to keep my hair in good condition and my room tidy. Not bad altogether.
I've also gone out places with friends and started to seriously invest in my dvd collection. I am happy with how pretty good i've been these past two months.
My pet nuisances now are mainly centred on the fact that i don't have a tv of my own. It's seriously bugging me now, especially with the dvds. and also, i need to get back to the gym. Inshallah Allah will make that easy for me. I'm afraid that my former gym instructer who was teaching my how to instruct aerobics classes may well treat me as a normal client, or be sceptical about depending on me as i haven't been around for a while. Her loss if she does. But it means i'll have to go looking elsewhere. which i might do anyway, cos she moved premises and i heard that her latest are rather basic.
Anyways, we'll see.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

I feel defeated

Today, right now, i feel defeated. I'm swamped with far too much to do and when i sit down to do anything it seems to snowball. Everytime i divide up a task into smaller chunks, i find out that each chunk is actually WAY bigger than i expected. Therefore i get none of the important things i need to do done.

The frustrating thing is that leaves me feeling defeated, yet if i'd done the less important tasks i'd have felt some satsifaction from completing them, but then i'd also feel like a procrastinator. It's these lose-lose situations that i make me want to go to bed and stay there.

Alright, so in the name of being positive, i'm going to list what i actually did do today:
-learnt two pages of Qur'an

(just spilt milk all over the mouse mat, with mouse on it. Bugger!) (EUGH) (i'll sort it later)

-revised about 2.5 pages of Qur'an
-started a low-gi diet
-took the low-gi diet book out (HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT)
-carried out research online for two sections of one my research project
-watched Grey's Anatomy (which means i don't have to watch the repeat tomorrow!)

That's it. I mean seriously, it's a bad day when watching Grey's Anatomy is counted as an accomplishment.

Anyways, guess what? Tomorrow is another day and i get to have another chance at getting it right. Here's to hoping and praying.


Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Climbing out of the rut

I've decided to start doing and try to climb out of the crater-sized laziness rut i've got myself into. As an incentive i have an exam in Qur'an memorisation next Tuesday, and i'm hoping to have got back on the whole memorising thing again. I also have to revise some other subjects by next week, which shouldn't be too hard.

I've also been meaning to buy a tv for myself - believe me, it would actually help things, and not make them worse. I need to get back to my yoga video, plus i'm more disciplined about watching dvds than i am with the tv. With the tv, i decide i'm only going to watch x and end up channel-flicking afterwards and watch a load of other rubbish too. with the dvds i just watch the film and then switch off. see the difference? Anyway, i need to get me a tv, and when last i was in the uk i saw one for £20. Do you think i can find it online now? no. i want to ask some friends to buy it for me as they will be coming by car and have the space, but i don't want them having to trapse all around the town just for a bloody tv! So i'm just gonna look on ebay and see what that throws up.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

I'm in a rut...

I've lost my voice. I've had a sore throat for a couple of days which has resulted in my losing my voice now. I can talk, it's just that i now have this alien voice when i do. And it hurts to talk, not, of course, that that would actually stop me. Furthermore, it's coming into spring here and my hayfever has decided to start up. For me, hayfever affects my eyes more than anything else, specifically my left eye.

So I have a sore throat, an alien voice and a swollen and itchy left eye. Bootiful.

Add to this my unbelievable, inescapable and all-encompassing lethargy. I have loads to do and i have the time to do them all, but i cannot be bothered to do anything. I'm quite happy sleeping all day and night, watching crap on tv and reading even more crap online and doing jack diddily squat else.

Except that i'm not happy doing it anymore. I want to start doing the things i need to do, before the deadlines hit me and i wind up pulling all-nighters. I want to get up in the morning, set to work and accomplish important tasks. I want to get back to memorising the Qur'an daily and revising what i already learnt.

I want to get off my arse!

But the problem is two-fold:
1- I've gotten used to doing nothing. My whole routine centers around doing nothing. And believe me, i'm good at it. Really good at it. I was a born slacker/procrastinator/lazy bum. It's a talent, and sometimes it's a blessed gift. Yes, that's right, sometimes it is a blessed gift. I mean, hello, I don't stress the small stuff, or get worked up over something i'll have forgotten within a year. The problem is, of course, that i either don't accomplish the important stuff or i do, under maximum (cannot over-emphasis that word) stress. Urrrgghh
2- The other problem is that when i go through a prolonged period of slacking (as i have now) i just don't know where to start to end it. So i keep slacking. Until i get a massive deadline ... and i start cramming ... and stressing ... then when it's all over i just need to slob out to recover. It's a CYCLE.
And i can't seem to break it.

Except that i do know that i can. I just have to





And now i really feel like i want to move. I've finished my exams (failed most of them, because i couldn't be bothered revising) and i want to focus on my assignments - all of which are due this term - and start studying now for the next exams. I also really want to get back into memorising Quran. I need to send emails about a job, a tv and general chat to friends. I need to finish drawing up my planner. And boy do i need to clear up my room - a pig wouldn't fit in my room cos of all the stuff everywhere, never mind live in it. Not even a teeny-tiny piglet. And i *deep breath* haven't made my bed since Tuesday. I think. And i need to get back to my diet and workout routine.
And the list goes on and on and on...

The thing is, i can start up a decent routine to get these things done. But i'm sick, not sick enough to not go to uni, but sick enough to get back and crawl into bed and sleeeeeeeeeep.

This isn't a rut. This is a whopping big crater.

But tomorrow is a new day, so hopefully i'll feel a wee bit better and send off those emails.

Who hijacked my religion?

This is soooooooooooo true. The amount of times i've sat and watched all these "experts" talking about Islam on tv, and IT'S ALL WRONG! Like Baba Ali said: just cos you wrote a book about islam doesnt make you an expert. And just cos you were born into this religion, that doesn't make you an expert either.