I've lost my voice. I've had a sore throat for a couple of days which has resulted in my losing my voice now. I can talk, it's just that i now have this alien voice when i do. And it hurts to talk, not, of course, that that would actually stop me. Furthermore, it's coming into spring here and my hayfever has decided to start up. For me, hayfever affects my eyes more than anything else, specifically my left eye.
So I have a sore throat, an alien voice and a swollen and itchy left eye. Bootiful.
Add to this my unbelievable, inescapable and all-encompassing lethargy. I have loads to do and i have the time to do them all, but i cannot be bothered to do anything. I'm quite happy sleeping all day and night, watching crap on tv and reading even more crap online and doing jack diddily squat else.
Except that i'm not happy doing it anymore. I want to start doing the things i need to do, before the deadlines hit me and i wind up pulling all-nighters. I want to get up in the morning, set to work and accomplish important tasks. I want to get back to memorising the Qur'an daily and revising what i already learnt.
I want to get off my arse!
But the problem is two-fold:
1- I've gotten used to doing nothing. My whole routine centers around doing nothing. And believe me, i'm good at it. Really good at it. I was a born slacker/procrastinator/lazy bum. It's a talent, and sometimes it's a blessed gift. Yes, that's right, sometimes it is a blessed gift. I mean, hello, I don't stress the small stuff, or get worked up over something i'll have forgotten within a year. The problem is, of course, that i either don't accomplish the important stuff or i do, under maximum (cannot over-emphasis that word) stress. Urrrgghh
2- The other problem is that when i go through a prolonged period of slacking (as i have now) i just don't know where to start to end it. So i keep slacking. Until i get a massive deadline ... and i start cramming ... and stressing ... then when it's all over i just need to slob out to recover. It's a CYCLE.
And i can't seem to break it.
Except that i do know that i can. I just have to
And now i really feel like i want to move. I've finished my exams (failed most of them, because i couldn't be bothered revising) and i want to focus on my assignments - all of which are due this term - and start studying now for the next exams. I also really want to get back into memorising Quran. I need to send emails about a job, a tv and general chat to friends. I need to finish drawing up my planner. And boy do i need to clear up my room - a pig wouldn't fit in my room cos of all the stuff everywhere, never mind live in it. Not even a teeny-tiny piglet. And i *deep breath* haven't made my bed since Tuesday. I think. And i need to get back to my diet and workout routine.
And the list goes on and on and on...
The thing is, i can start up a decent routine to get these things done. But i'm sick, not sick enough to not go to uni, but sick enough to get back and crawl into bed and sleeeeeeeeeep.
This isn't a rut. This is a whopping big crater.
But tomorrow is a new day, so hopefully i'll feel a wee bit better and send off those emails.
1 day ago