Monday, March 15, 2010

Arranged vs. Non-Arranged Marriage

I love this picture, I think it's so cute! Image found here.

I've mentioned before that I've decided to go for the arranged marriage route. (Sorry, but I can't be bothered to find where to link to it! I'm aiming to tidy up my blog over Spring Break next week, anyways.) I find it hard to explain why sometimes, as it is such a complicated decision that depends on a lot of different factors, especially when you come from/live in the West.

I came across this article recently, in which Sheena Iyengar, a Sikh-American, mentions the whole non-arranged vs. arranged marriage thing. Here's an excerpt of her interview, which was actually about choice, by the way, not marriage:

One significant cultural difference, with regard to choice, is the way people find their spouses. You looked at non-arranged and arranged marriages in the book, and came away surprisingly positive about the latter.

The model is so different that it makes it very tough to compare them. The arranged marriage will lead in theory to less quarrels because you know, for example, what religion you’re going raise your child in. In the case of a love marriage, love is supposed to conquer all, but what do you do when you have different opinions about how to feed your child or save money? What we can learn from the arranged marriage is the importance and value of compatibility. I think what the love marriage can teach is the importance of shared understanding.

I really like her perspective about what we can learn from both models of marriage.


  1. Well I totally respect your beliefs and your decision - an arranged marriage is definitely something I could NEVER do.

    On the topic of "love conquering all" though, I definitely don't agree with that. I think that two people can be deeply in love but it just doesn't work due to other factors like their beliefs. I think that in order to make a marriage work it has to be a combination of love AND having the same morals/values!

  2. I think arranged marriages are intriguing. I only know of one arranged marriage, but they are very happy. Or they appear to be happy. I do think it helps to have compatability when it comes to religion/values.

    And hey, I think I would actually trust my parents choice... But that doesn't mean I am going to give my mom the option to choose because she would jump all over that! ha!