A simple sentence, that, ‘I want to get married’. And oh so complicated, difficult and, well, scary. I feel like I’m ready for it now, really ready for it. I’ve done everything I wanted to do before I get married – and I’m so grateful to Allah that I’ve been able to do that, that I am able to say that I have. And now it’s time to move on to the next phase of my life.
I want to build a life with someone else… I want a partner to share life with… I want someone I can have a family with… I want someone to love… I want someone to love me (other than my family).
But I’m not desperate. This is still quite new to me, and I’m enjoying being right here, right now. It’s fun being in a new phase and being able to explore that.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
2009 Resolutions:
Last year I didn’t make any resolutions at the beginning of the year as I normally do, my thinking being that I rarely complete even half of them and well before six months are up I’ve abandoned them altogether, only to be faced with a sense of failure at the end of the year, when I’m writing the next lot. So 2008 was my resolution free year, and I found that I really missed the sense of direction I had in previous years simply from listing the things that are important to me. Come 2009, resolutions was back, but with a twist.
This year I decided to make my resolutions very simple and indefinite. I divided up the areas of my life I wanted to work on and then listed what was important in those areas, with just one word. The idea is that I’ll gain the sense of direction from having priorities, but without the predefined boundaries of set goals. This way I can update my resolutions each month, or according to the kind of progress I’m making with them. So here are my 2009 resolutions, with short explanations of each item or area:
Qur’an:
- Memorise
- Revise
- Ahkam
I want to learn the entire Qur’an, and I have no excuse really for not knowing more. Revision is obviously an important part of the learning process, and I need to really study the Ahkam, in order to recite it correctly.
Religion:
- Pray
- Read
- Apply
I need to really focus on my prayers – improving my concentration and sincerity as well as reciting longer surahs, and praying more voluntary prayers. Reading will help develop my concentration in prayer, as well as the fact that I have advanced enough in my religion to be able to read and understand more complex subjects. Application will, I believe, naturally follow on from this.
Health:
- Skincare routine
- Sunscreen
- TV
- Fiber
- Sleep
My body is a mess. I’m a wreck. Really, I am. I have awful skin, which I did not expect to have in my twenties, and no skincare routine whatsoever. And it’s not gonna get any better as I get older, because I don’t use sunscreen, so I’m gonna wind up with leathery, extra-wrinkled skin. Not nice. The TV fits in with the health thing because I can use my workout videos, etc, and so will get back to the whole exercise thing again (the gym didn’t work out). Fiber is important in any diet, and if I eat more of it, I’ll be eating less junk. I hope. And sleep is all-important – I need a routine to get my body clock back in order.
University:
- Work
- Attend
- Pass
this, I think is pretty obvious. I’m in my last year, I have a heap of research projects with my lecturers, tutors and myself rightly expecting a higher level of understanding and study. I also need to tighten up on attendance and, of course, pass.
Friends:
- Email
- Fone
- See
I’m a lousy friend. Really lousy. It’s not that I don’t think of my friends, that I don’t care about them, or that I’m so busy that I don’t have the time for them, because I do, but I’m just too darn lazy! So I’m gonna email the ones abroad, fone the ones here that I don’t see often, and meet up with my friends that live within my area.
Crafts:
- Knitting
- Crochet
- Other
I love the sense of accomplishment from making something and actually finishing it. I can’t count the number of projects I’ve started over the years, and I can’t think of one that I actually finished. I’ve been able to knit since I was 7 and able to crochet (basic crochet – nothing fancy) since I was about 12 or 13. I’ve never ever made anything with those skills. I’d also like to do more sketching, photography – I love landscape photography! – baking, and other stuff I haven’t even thought of yet.
Life:
- License
- Internet
- Work
- Writing
- Money
- Travel
This category consists of the things that will generally improve the quality of my life. I need to get my driving license so that I can drive places I need to go to. I need to start using the internet more to my advantage, that includes everything from online banking, to looking up stuff I’m interested in, to blogging. Work is a fairly obvious improvement, especially as I’m graduating this year. Initially I’ll carry on working in translation, expanding my work load (and therefore pay check ;-p) and developing my skills. I’d like to start working on some other projects in other areas, and just figure out what I want to do with my life, career-wise. I’d also like to look into writing more, with a view to getting something published. I don’t know if I’ve got what it takes for this, but the only way to find out is to try. And I need to sort out my money. I need to start saving money (I fancy myself a little nest egg), as well as spending it better and sort out my banking. Travel is something I love, and for me it doesn’t necessarily mean leaving the country, or even this city. There’s so much to see and experience right here, for free, or for very little money. Of course, that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to travel abroad, because I’d love to, but it’s not the only form of travel.
So there we have it: my resolutions for 2009. And the reason I’m only putting them in my blog now is that I’ve spent the last month testing them out to see if they’re any good, which they are.
This year I decided to make my resolutions very simple and indefinite. I divided up the areas of my life I wanted to work on and then listed what was important in those areas, with just one word. The idea is that I’ll gain the sense of direction from having priorities, but without the predefined boundaries of set goals. This way I can update my resolutions each month, or according to the kind of progress I’m making with them. So here are my 2009 resolutions, with short explanations of each item or area:
Qur’an:
- Memorise
- Revise
- Ahkam
I want to learn the entire Qur’an, and I have no excuse really for not knowing more. Revision is obviously an important part of the learning process, and I need to really study the Ahkam, in order to recite it correctly.
Religion:
- Pray
- Read
- Apply
I need to really focus on my prayers – improving my concentration and sincerity as well as reciting longer surahs, and praying more voluntary prayers. Reading will help develop my concentration in prayer, as well as the fact that I have advanced enough in my religion to be able to read and understand more complex subjects. Application will, I believe, naturally follow on from this.
Health:
- Skincare routine
- Sunscreen
- TV
- Fiber
- Sleep
My body is a mess. I’m a wreck. Really, I am. I have awful skin, which I did not expect to have in my twenties, and no skincare routine whatsoever. And it’s not gonna get any better as I get older, because I don’t use sunscreen, so I’m gonna wind up with leathery, extra-wrinkled skin. Not nice. The TV fits in with the health thing because I can use my workout videos, etc, and so will get back to the whole exercise thing again (the gym didn’t work out). Fiber is important in any diet, and if I eat more of it, I’ll be eating less junk. I hope. And sleep is all-important – I need a routine to get my body clock back in order.
University:
- Work
- Attend
- Pass
this, I think is pretty obvious. I’m in my last year, I have a heap of research projects with my lecturers, tutors and myself rightly expecting a higher level of understanding and study. I also need to tighten up on attendance and, of course, pass.
Friends:
- Fone
- See
I’m a lousy friend. Really lousy. It’s not that I don’t think of my friends, that I don’t care about them, or that I’m so busy that I don’t have the time for them, because I do, but I’m just too darn lazy! So I’m gonna email the ones abroad, fone the ones here that I don’t see often, and meet up with my friends that live within my area.
Crafts:
- Knitting
- Crochet
- Other
I love the sense of accomplishment from making something and actually finishing it. I can’t count the number of projects I’ve started over the years, and I can’t think of one that I actually finished. I’ve been able to knit since I was 7 and able to crochet (basic crochet – nothing fancy) since I was about 12 or 13. I’ve never ever made anything with those skills. I’d also like to do more sketching, photography – I love landscape photography! – baking, and other stuff I haven’t even thought of yet.
Life:
- License
- Internet
- Work
- Writing
- Money
- Travel
This category consists of the things that will generally improve the quality of my life. I need to get my driving license so that I can drive places I need to go to. I need to start using the internet more to my advantage, that includes everything from online banking, to looking up stuff I’m interested in, to blogging. Work is a fairly obvious improvement, especially as I’m graduating this year. Initially I’ll carry on working in translation, expanding my work load (and therefore pay check ;-p) and developing my skills. I’d like to start working on some other projects in other areas, and just figure out what I want to do with my life, career-wise. I’d also like to look into writing more, with a view to getting something published. I don’t know if I’ve got what it takes for this, but the only way to find out is to try. And I need to sort out my money. I need to start saving money (I fancy myself a little nest egg), as well as spending it better and sort out my banking. Travel is something I love, and for me it doesn’t necessarily mean leaving the country, or even this city. There’s so much to see and experience right here, for free, or for very little money. Of course, that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to travel abroad, because I’d love to, but it’s not the only form of travel.
So there we have it: my resolutions for 2009. And the reason I’m only putting them in my blog now is that I’ve spent the last month testing them out to see if they’re any good, which they are.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Exam time again
It's that time of year again: the end of 1st semester exams. Whilst i'm obviously a dab hand at exams by now, i'm finding myself suffering from some exam anxiety. This is a whole, totally and completely new feeling for me. Normally i feel fine and my bowel does the whole stress thing - a perk, i felt, of having IBS: no need to worry, my gut does it for me! However, this time around has been somewhat different: my tummy is pain free, but i have headaches and i actually feel stress! I think it's because it's my last year at uni and i've just realised that i didn't do evertything i wanted to do these past few years, added to the fact that i have no idea as to what i actually want to do with my life. And i want to do well in my exams - i want to leave uni with a bang, not a pathetic whimper.
And so the panic sets in. On the plus side, i've started doing things i wasn't doing before and i have a potential job or two lined up for when i am finished uni. The things i'm doing now are:
Studying
Revising
Knitting
Memorising / Reading more Qur'an
Watching less TV
Eating better (more fiber, less crap)
Reading
One other thing i wanted to mention is that as i have been under some stress for a while now, due to other things that have been going on, i've lost some weight - about 3kgs (6lbs), and i feel way better for it. Now, don't get me wrong, my weight isn't a major problem, and some would even argue that i don't need to lose any weight, but this little bit has transformed my life. I have some problems with my insulin levels and this is helping me to feel oh so much better. Now i just have to keep it off.
And so the panic sets in. On the plus side, i've started doing things i wasn't doing before and i have a potential job or two lined up for when i am finished uni. The things i'm doing now are:
Studying
Revising
Knitting
Memorising / Reading more Qur'an
Watching less TV
Eating better (more fiber, less crap)
Reading
One other thing i wanted to mention is that as i have been under some stress for a while now, due to other things that have been going on, i've lost some weight - about 3kgs (6lbs), and i feel way better for it. Now, don't get me wrong, my weight isn't a major problem, and some would even argue that i don't need to lose any weight, but this little bit has transformed my life. I have some problems with my insulin levels and this is helping me to feel oh so much better. Now i just have to keep it off.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
According to 43things.com...
| I took the 43 Things Personality Quiz and found out I'm a Traveling Self-Knowing Tree Hugger   |
I don't feel very self-knowing... but i guess that, compared to most people, i am well travelled. And i like to recycle and try to be eco-friendly, so maybe that makes me a tree hugger!
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
What have I been up to lately?
Yay! I've finished all my exams! (ish - I'm going to have to resit a few, but that's no biggie.) So, as I have obviously got myself a well-earned break, I have hardly had two minutes peace since finishing. So what have I been doing? Let me see...
Firstly there's the gym. I went to see the gym owner last week and all my fears were totally unfounded. Not only was she happy to see me, but she wants me to get my behind back into shape asap so that i can start doing classes again. But here's the best bit: she's going to pay me this time. Woohoo! So I'm going to aerobics classes for free at the mo, and to be honest, I'm already part instructing them. She helps me along, cos I'm still a bit rusty, but I'm most definitely back in training! And, I'm sore. Oh boy am I sore. I'm going to be soooo much more sympathetic to the newbies in future - cos my legs simply aint functioning like they're supposed to.
Secondly there's the work. I took time off for my exams and now have a veritable mountain to catch up on. I'm almost there. I hope. But it's stressing me out being so behind - I feel like a total schmuck for not just getting it all done, and for being late on my deadlines. It's so unprofessional, and I hate it. I want to do my job properly, is that so hard? At the moment, yes, it seems.
Thirdly there's the english revision lessons. A neighbour has her Baccaulareate coming up in a couple of weeks - less now - and yours truly has agreed to help her with her revision. I don't mind helping someone out by going through their past papers and/or explaining stuff from their books that they don't understand or going through exercises, etc, but this isn't like that. She's got a very low level of English, which is hard to deal with and she's been failing the subject for a while now. Then there's the lack of preparation she's been doing - she's even turned up once without so much as paper to take notes on. Which brings me to the next thing: even when she does have pen and paper she doesn't take much notes. Now, if the student don't make an effort than that isn't my fault, but if she comes with nothing and I have to have a lesson planned, that aint on. It's not like I'm getting paid, or even that I'm a teacher, so i simply don't know what to cover with her. I just hope i get rewarded for it - that's the only reason I'm doing it: for Allah.
Fourthly, a girl has to have some sort of social life. So, I've spent a long weekend at my aunt's place with my cousin, I've spent a morning shopping and have gone to the hairdressers twice (once a cut, and then I decided to get rid of my hairdye and go back to natural, so i had the colour bleached back. And i am never doing that again - so bad for my hair!). And I'm going to uni to meet up with friends tomorrow, and then to my aunt's again the day after, for the weekend.
To be perfectly honest, I can't maintain this kinda speed/chaos in my life for long before going crazy. Even now, I'm already holding on to the fact that the Baccaulareate exams will be over soon and that if I stick with my work, I'll be working great by the end of next week. But I have enjoyed the variety of the chaos - it's not been dull, at any rate! I just wish the weather would improve, then I could start planning my summer.
Firstly there's the gym. I went to see the gym owner last week and all my fears were totally unfounded. Not only was she happy to see me, but she wants me to get my behind back into shape asap so that i can start doing classes again. But here's the best bit: she's going to pay me this time. Woohoo! So I'm going to aerobics classes for free at the mo, and to be honest, I'm already part instructing them. She helps me along, cos I'm still a bit rusty, but I'm most definitely back in training! And, I'm sore. Oh boy am I sore. I'm going to be soooo much more sympathetic to the newbies in future - cos my legs simply aint functioning like they're supposed to.
Secondly there's the work. I took time off for my exams and now have a veritable mountain to catch up on. I'm almost there. I hope. But it's stressing me out being so behind - I feel like a total schmuck for not just getting it all done, and for being late on my deadlines. It's so unprofessional, and I hate it. I want to do my job properly, is that so hard? At the moment, yes, it seems.
Thirdly there's the english revision lessons. A neighbour has her Baccaulareate coming up in a couple of weeks - less now - and yours truly has agreed to help her with her revision. I don't mind helping someone out by going through their past papers and/or explaining stuff from their books that they don't understand or going through exercises, etc, but this isn't like that. She's got a very low level of English, which is hard to deal with and she's been failing the subject for a while now. Then there's the lack of preparation she's been doing - she's even turned up once without so much as paper to take notes on. Which brings me to the next thing: even when she does have pen and paper she doesn't take much notes. Now, if the student don't make an effort than that isn't my fault, but if she comes with nothing and I have to have a lesson planned, that aint on. It's not like I'm getting paid, or even that I'm a teacher, so i simply don't know what to cover with her. I just hope i get rewarded for it - that's the only reason I'm doing it: for Allah.
Fourthly, a girl has to have some sort of social life. So, I've spent a long weekend at my aunt's place with my cousin, I've spent a morning shopping and have gone to the hairdressers twice (once a cut, and then I decided to get rid of my hairdye and go back to natural, so i had the colour bleached back. And i am never doing that again - so bad for my hair!). And I'm going to uni to meet up with friends tomorrow, and then to my aunt's again the day after, for the weekend.
To be perfectly honest, I can't maintain this kinda speed/chaos in my life for long before going crazy. Even now, I'm already holding on to the fact that the Baccaulareate exams will be over soon and that if I stick with my work, I'll be working great by the end of next week. But I have enjoyed the variety of the chaos - it's not been dull, at any rate! I just wish the weather would improve, then I could start planning my summer.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Trying to stay upbeat
Since my last real post I must say I'm doing loads better.
I've passed 4/11 modules awaiting confirmation on another one and not sure regarding another 3. Which, all in all, means i've only definitly failed 3. That's not too bad. My revision for most of my exams has been really good, i've memorised a lot of Qur'an since the last post i've finished all my research assignments and handed them in on time and have managed to keep my hair in good condition and my room tidy. Not bad altogether.
I've also gone out places with friends and started to seriously invest in my dvd collection. I am happy with how pretty good i've been these past two months.
My pet nuisances now are mainly centred on the fact that i don't have a tv of my own. It's seriously bugging me now, especially with the dvds. and also, i need to get back to the gym. Inshallah Allah will make that easy for me. I'm afraid that my former gym instructer who was teaching my how to instruct aerobics classes may well treat me as a normal client, or be sceptical about depending on me as i haven't been around for a while. Her loss if she does. But it means i'll have to go looking elsewhere. which i might do anyway, cos she moved premises and i heard that her latest are rather basic.
Anyways, we'll see.
I've passed 4/11 modules awaiting confirmation on another one and not sure regarding another 3. Which, all in all, means i've only definitly failed 3. That's not too bad. My revision for most of my exams has been really good, i've memorised a lot of Qur'an since the last post i've finished all my research assignments and handed them in on time and have managed to keep my hair in good condition and my room tidy. Not bad altogether.
I've also gone out places with friends and started to seriously invest in my dvd collection. I am happy with how pretty good i've been these past two months.
My pet nuisances now are mainly centred on the fact that i don't have a tv of my own. It's seriously bugging me now, especially with the dvds. and also, i need to get back to the gym. Inshallah Allah will make that easy for me. I'm afraid that my former gym instructer who was teaching my how to instruct aerobics classes may well treat me as a normal client, or be sceptical about depending on me as i haven't been around for a while. Her loss if she does. But it means i'll have to go looking elsewhere. which i might do anyway, cos she moved premises and i heard that her latest are rather basic.
Anyways, we'll see.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
I feel defeated
Today, right now, i feel defeated. I'm swamped with far too much to do and when i sit down to do anything it seems to snowball. Everytime i divide up a task into smaller chunks, i find out that each chunk is actually WAY bigger than i expected. Therefore i get none of the important things i need to do done.
The frustrating thing is that leaves me feeling defeated, yet if i'd done the less important tasks i'd have felt some satsifaction from completing them, but then i'd also feel like a procrastinator. It's these lose-lose situations that i make me want to go to bed and stay there.
Alright, so in the name of being positive, i'm going to list what i actually did do today:
-learnt two pages of Qur'an
(just spilt milk all over the mouse mat, with mouse on it. Bugger!) (EUGH) (i'll sort it later)
-revised about 2.5 pages of Qur'an
-started a low-gi diet
-took the low-gi diet book out (HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT)
-carried out research online for two sections of one my research project
-watched Grey's Anatomy (which means i don't have to watch the repeat tomorrow!)
That's it. I mean seriously, it's a bad day when watching Grey's Anatomy is counted as an accomplishment.
Anyways, guess what? Tomorrow is another day and i get to have another chance at getting it right. Here's to hoping and praying.
Sayonara
The frustrating thing is that leaves me feeling defeated, yet if i'd done the less important tasks i'd have felt some satsifaction from completing them, but then i'd also feel like a procrastinator. It's these lose-lose situations that i make me want to go to bed and stay there.
Alright, so in the name of being positive, i'm going to list what i actually did do today:
-learnt two pages of Qur'an
(just spilt milk all over the mouse mat, with mouse on it. Bugger!) (EUGH) (i'll sort it later)
-revised about 2.5 pages of Qur'an
-started a low-gi diet
-took the low-gi diet book out (HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT)
-carried out research online for two sections of one my research project
-watched Grey's Anatomy (which means i don't have to watch the repeat tomorrow!)
That's it. I mean seriously, it's a bad day when watching Grey's Anatomy is counted as an accomplishment.
Anyways, guess what? Tomorrow is another day and i get to have another chance at getting it right. Here's to hoping and praying.
Sayonara
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