Arranged vs. Non-Arranged Marriage

I love this picture, I think it's so cute! Image found here.

I've mentioned before that I've decided to go for the arranged marriage route. (Sorry, but I can't be bothered to find where to link to it! I'm aiming to tidy up my blog over Spring Break next week, anyways.) I find it hard to explain why sometimes, as it is such a complicated decision that depends on a lot of different factors, especially when you come from/live in the West.

I came across this article recently, in which Sheena Iyengar, a Sikh-American, mentions the whole non-arranged vs. arranged marriage thing. Here's an excerpt of her interview, which was actually about choice, by the way, not marriage:

One significant cultural difference, with regard to choice, is the way people find their spouses. You looked at non-arranged and arranged marriages in the book, and came away surprisingly positive about the latter.

The model is so different that it makes it very tough to compare them. The arranged marriage will lead in theory to less quarrels because you know, for example, what religion you’re going raise your child in. In the case of a love marriage, love is supposed to conquer all, but what do you do when you have different opinions about how to feed your child or save money? What we can learn from the arranged marriage is the importance and value of compatibility. I think what the love marriage can teach is the importance of shared understanding.

I really like her perspective about what we can learn from both models of marriage.

I want to get married.

A simple sentence, that, ‘I want to get married’. And oh so complicated, difficult and, well, scary. I feel like I’m ready for it now, really ready for it. I’ve done everything I wanted to do before I get married – and I’m so grateful to Allah that I’ve been able to do that, that I am able to say that I have. And now it’s time to move on to the next phase of my life.

I want to build a life with someone else… I want a partner to share life with… I want someone I can have a family with… I want someone to love… I want someone to love me (other than my family).

But I’m not desperate. This is still quite new to me, and I’m enjoying being right here, right now. It’s fun being in a new phase and being able to explore that.