Things I need to work on

As usual I’m not happy with the way I’m living my life right now. I’m permanently tired because I’m not getting enough sleep - for the past three days I’ve had about 3-4 hours of sleep a night. And I’m not even taking long siestas or anything to compensate for it, so that’s one hell of a sleep deficit I’m building.

Here's a list of the things that I really need to work on:

1. Getting to bed early. I can’t function during the day properly and I ain’t doing what I’m supposed to be doing until the last minute before bed. Feeling permanently tired is so old already.

2. Get my exercise in earlier. It has to be done. And no cheating. These days I’ve been working out in the wee hours - around 12 or even 1 in the morning. See, I said I need to get to bed earlier.

3. Write more. Throughout the day and not just 20 minutes before bed so that I can tick the ruddy habitforge update.

4. Quit playing Mahjong Titans. I’m wasting HOURS everyday on this s**t. Seriously, I spent over 10 hours on it last week. (As per my Rescue Time weekly summary - boy did I not like this week's report. Rescue Time, by the way, is an online time tracking program that logs how long you spend on every program that you use, whilst running in the background. It's actually pretty nifty.)

5. Preparing lessons properly and ahead of time. Also, I need to be stricter about logging hours and pay. I’m not feeling the whole teaching thing right now. A large part of my problem is that I teach several one-to-ones, but I prefer teaching groups (more varied interactions and it’s sooooooooo much easier), so I’m not very enthusiastic. This means that I leave my lesson planning until the last minute the night before. It would be so much better if I just did it ahead of time and had one less thing to stress over.

6. Work on my review of 2010. This year was basically an unmitigated disaster in terms of my New Year’s Resolutions and goals, for various reasons. I know that if I don’t want to repeat this next year then I’m going to have to really take a long hard look at what went wrong this year. I also want to do some of the various end-of-year reviews that are out there.

7. Pick goals for next year. I think this one’s fairly obvious.

It’s not much, but it does require willpower, which I’m kinda low on these days.

Anything you need to work on? Or is everyone just gonna wait until the New Year?

I'm in a rut...

I've lost my voice. I've had a sore throat for a couple of days which has resulted in my losing my voice now. I can talk, it's just that i now have this alien voice when i do. And it hurts to talk, not, of course, that that would actually stop me. Furthermore, it's coming into spring here and my hayfever has decided to start up. For me, hayfever affects my eyes more than anything else, specifically my left eye.

So I have a sore throat, an alien voice and a swollen and itchy left eye. Bootiful.

Add to this my unbelievable, inescapable and all-encompassing lethargy. I have loads to do and i have the time to do them all, but i cannot be bothered to do anything. I'm quite happy sleeping all day and night, watching crap on tv and reading even more crap online and doing jack diddily squat else.

Except that i'm not happy doing it anymore. I want to start doing the things i need to do, before the deadlines hit me and i wind up pulling all-nighters. I want to get up in the morning, set to work and accomplish important tasks. I want to get back to memorising the Qur'an daily and revising what i already learnt.

I want to get off my arse!

But the problem is two-fold:
1- I've gotten used to doing nothing. My whole routine centers around doing nothing. And believe me, i'm good at it. Really good at it. I was a born slacker/procrastinator/lazy bum. It's a talent, and sometimes it's a blessed gift. Yes, that's right, sometimes it is a blessed gift. I mean, hello, I don't stress the small stuff, or get worked up over something i'll have forgotten within a year. The problem is, of course, that i either don't accomplish the important stuff or i do, under maximum (cannot over-emphasis that word) stress. Urrrgghh
2- The other problem is that when i go through a prolonged period of slacking (as i have now) i just don't know where to start to end it. So i keep slacking. Until i get a massive deadline ... and i start cramming ... and stressing ... then when it's all over i just need to slob out to recover. It's a CYCLE.
And i can't seem to break it.

Except that i do know that i can. I just have to

get

up

and

DO IT.

And now i really feel like i want to move. I've finished my exams (failed most of them, because i couldn't be bothered revising) and i want to focus on my assignments - all of which are due this term - and start studying now for the next exams. I also really want to get back into memorising Quran. I need to send emails about a job, a tv and general chat to friends. I need to finish drawing up my planner. And boy do i need to clear up my room - a pig wouldn't fit in my room cos of all the stuff everywhere, never mind live in it. Not even a teeny-tiny piglet. And i *deep breath* haven't made my bed since Tuesday. I think. And i need to get back to my diet and workout routine.
And the list goes on and on and on...

The thing is, i can start up a decent routine to get these things done. But i'm sick, not sick enough to not go to uni, but sick enough to get back and crawl into bed and sleeeeeeeeeep.


This isn't a rut. This is a whopping big crater.

But tomorrow is a new day, so hopefully i'll feel a wee bit better and send off those emails.